15 Hilarious Dad Jokes That Cracked Us Up This Week

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  • 01
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, 'You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. 'Why? What happened at 8.30?" 3:50 PM - 22 Feb 2018 14 Retweets 85 Likes
  • 02
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes This morning on the way to work I wasn't really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights. The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf. He said, "I'm not happy." I said, "Well, which one are you then?" 6:24 AM -18 Feb 2018 23 Retweets 138 Likes
  • 03
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes A guy is at home and hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. 3 years later there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail who says: 'What the hell was that all about? 3:48 PM - 22 Feb 2018 14 Retweets 73 Likes
  • 04
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes A bear walks into a bar and says "gimme a whisky. and a cola". The bar tender asks "why the big pause?" The beat replies "I don't know, I was just born with them" 7:52 AM 14 Feb 2018 19 Retweets 117 Likes
  • 05
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes Mountains aren't just funn...they're hill areas! 11:37 AM - 25 Feb 2018 750 27 Retweets 135 Likes
  • 06
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house." 1:23 PM - 20 Feb 2018 7 Retweets 39 Likes
  • 07
    Product - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance? Nina. 3:22 PM - 22 Feb 2018 18 Retweets 96 Likes
  • 08
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. 1:57 PM - 14 Feb 2018 44 Retweets 151 Likes
  • 09
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes Did you hear about the computer that got thrown in the ocean? Now there's a Dell rolling in the deep. 2:42 AM - 17 Feb 2018 21 Retweets 146 Likes
  • 10
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes Which member of ABBA was the oldest? Bjorn. It's easy to remember because he was Bjorn before the others. 5:21 AM - 26 Feb 2018 1 Retweet 9 Likes
  • 11
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes What do you call your mum's angry French sister? A Croissaunt.... 3:37 PM -20 Feb 2018 24 Retweets 93 Likes
  • 12
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes Wife says to her programmer husband, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread. 1:20 PM - 20 Feb 2018 20 Retweets 127 Likes
  • 13
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do! 12:02 PM - 18 Feb 2018 30 Retweets 112 Likes
  • 14
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes My wife says she's leaving me because she thinks I'm too obsessed with astronomy. What planet is she on! 9:53 AM - 17 Feb 2018 13 Retweets 71 Likes
  • 15
    Text - Dad Jokes Follow @Dadsaysjokes What's Fast and the Furious 10 going to be called? Fast 10: your seatbelts. 11:28 AM - 15 Feb 2018 53 Retweets 173 Likes

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